Interview with a Feeler
In this Facebook live we continued the theme of what it’s like to be a Feeler. I sat down and interviewed my intern Rose, who is also a 'Feeler. She has learned how to thrive being wired this way using it as a gift instead of a curse. I thought it would be fun to hear from someone else and unpack some more thoughts, and practical approaches to navigating life as a 'Feeler.'In this interview, we covered some great tips to manage life successfully if you’re a feeler. Here are some of the things we cover.
Check-in questions to ask yourself if there is a sudden change in the environment.
Connecting with Holy Spirit and using prayer to “shake” the heavy feeling.
How to catch negative emotions early and prevent spiraling.
The need for close community and how connecting with people grounds you.
Being a verbal processor or internal processor.
Letting self-awareness be a core muscle that you flex.
Being aware of the environment you’re walking into.
Using the phrase “it’s not me” to check in with yourself.
Below is the video transcribed if you would prefer reading over watching a video. Enjoy!!!
Josh: Alright, here we go. We are live; we are live.
Hey, everybody.So last time I did a Facebook live, there was a lot of feedback. And just to give you a little bit of context, it was me unpacking an experience that I had going to the VA and being thrown off for part of the day from what I had…the environment that I had to come into and not caught right away how that had affected me.
So this is my intern, Rose who is also a feeler and has learned how to manage her life well and thrive being lighter that way and using that as a gift instead of a curse.
So I thought it would be fun just to hear from somebody else to unpack some real practicals on how to navigate life as a feeler.
So, Rose, we were just talking, and the first question was one, you are a feeler, and you have had to learn how to adjust in life because of that, but it is also now at the place where you are not tormented by it, but you manage it. Is that fair to say?
Rose: Yes.
Josh: Okay. So within that, how do you internally,when you are going in different environments, and I think you brought up a great point which was within relationships, how do you manage to have a relationship and still being a feeler and picking up maybe on some things that people are processing?
Rose: So, great question, so for me I have learned that I can walk into atmospheres or I can walk into a room, and if the atmosphere makes me uncomfortable, I’d like to do a check where I begin to ask myself questions to say like “Oh what is going on?” And perhaps trace that with anything I haven’t talked through or dealt with.
But if I am in a relationship with anyone in that room and maybe they are not having such a great day, one of the things that I tend to do is tap into that relationship and perhaps check out and say you know “Hey, is everything okay?” And usually, if it is not and they share what is going on then that tends to lift…
Josh: Okay, so if you realize that you, let's say have coffee with somebody or whatever it may, and then all of a sudden you are feeling off, you use that as an indicator to be aware of the person you are in a relationship with.
Rose: Absolutely.
Josh: And I love what you just said which is, then you ask. You speak up instead of naval gazing and turning it inwards like so many of us do and you create a dialog which opens up vulnerability and transparency and then you can actually go to a place in that relationship that you might not have otherwise. So that is really good.
What about when you're feeling real off?
Rose: When I'm feeling off? Can you get be a little bit more specific?
Josh: Yeah. So when all of a sudden you feel like, we all have our good days, and then we have our, not awesome days as well; or let’s say you go into an environment and you do notice, let’s say your emotions get high. How do you manage coming out from under that strong, intense feeling and to get re-centered in you are?
Rose: So for me, what worked for me in the past and even presently, is that if I have a day where I am, to use your term, “feeling off” or I can’t shake thatfeeling or emotions, I tend to get quiet [inaudible 4:15] and I use my prayer language, my [inaudible] language and I pray out in the spirit really until I feel what I say that click, when I feel [inaudible 4:27]
And that confidence arises because sometimes those emotions, those feelings can affect your insecurity, so what I then I have that dialog with myself and realize this is not me, this is not who I am, and I'm starting to feel insecure and [inaudible 4:52] past I call default negative messages [crosstalk] maybe my identity and I am grown to be .And then I try to find harness those by talking to myself and saying “Well look, this is not who you are, this is not how you walk.” And a pray that out into the spirit.
Josh: So there's two really good things. One, I think a referenced in on the last video but just going along with the whole thing of “it’s not me” and there're times where I have said it out loud going “Wait a minute, wait a minute, it is not me.” And that’s even sometimes enough to break it, in your words, or have it click.
But when it’s not I love how there are such a power, life, and the death is in the power of the tongue, so to be able to pray out loud and I think that is a big key, doesn't mean that you are walking through a shopping mall, talking to yourself, looking crazy; that is not the idea. But there is something with being able to speak out loud the truths, the prayer that you need to to get re-centered with your identity.
Because that is a huge thing for feelers, it is you can pick something up and I think that's a great point that I didn't cover in our last recording was you could feel off and all of a sudden you take that on as your identity just like you just said.
And then before you know it, you're a feeling down, and that is because you have chased a rabbit trail of an environment that you walked into instead of it being something that you need to process. So I think that is a great tool to be able to get re-centered as you said.
Are there any other things that you found helpful with just living life as a feeler? Like I said, the last recording that I did got a lot of feedback and even some questions of, this is good, it is really good to breakdown in practical ways, but again coming from somebody who has lived and learned how to thrive in that environment or thrive in that way that God has wired you, is there anything else that you think would be beneficial that you either wish you would have known or that you currently are learning to practice in your life?
Rose: Well I think what comes to mind is being able to catch it quickly because that can take you, you could go through the whole day and life as you know just flows and we can be distracted by other things and we still carry that emotion with us into other things.
So one I would say, to become self-aware as soon as possible. And the other thing and I think you did touch on it in your previous life, is checking in with someone else if you find that actually this is not shifting and I'm struggling to shift this, find a go-to person, someone that is safe and someone that you can trust with your heart and your emotions and just to process that out because there is that again, that power in more than one.
Josh: Yeah, that is true that is true, and I mean anybody who knows me knows that I am huge in the community. And the other thing is I am a verbal processor.
So sometimes if you are an internal processor, some of what Rose is saying you can just navigate through, where that it not one of my strengths.
And so that is why community is so big to me as reaching out and sometimes I don't even know exactly why I'm reaching out, I just feel off, and that’s in those moments where I either forget to pray or reconnect or center myself, and that is why we have community, that is why we have friends that we can lean on.
Because the has been several times I have made a phone call and then they have either reminded me of my identity or just said “Hey let me pray for you real quick” and that is enough to go “Okay, I am re-grounded I am re-centered, let's brush that thing off and let us just keep moving forward in life.”
Rose: I just want to interject there, you say sometimes you are not sure what you are going to say to that person, it could be even if you just ask “What's happening today?” Just that simple question is, you know, “What is going on today?” Which allows you to just like “Okay I felt this, this happened” and took you through that scenario the other day which then allows you to sometimes the other person doesn’t need to say anything.
Josh: It’s true. Yeah.
Rose: And then you become the answer to your questions.
Josh: Yes, it is amazing how many times in verbal processing with someone I have been able to connect with wisdom and realign myself with truth just by saying it.And again it would never leak out of my brain unless it came out of my mouth.
Rose: Yes, that is so powerful.
Josh: So I think that is a good one too. Anything else that you want to add to that?
Rose: No, I think and practice self-awareness.
Josh: That is huge. I mean I think that is if there is one key take away is that, I mean there is you had shared a lot of great things but one of the biggest being learning how to find when you went off, or be aware of the environment that you are walking in and out of and begin to, what I like to say is flex that muscle.
You know if you are going to the gym and you work out, but you ignore a certain muscle it will get atrophied, it will get weak.
And so, self-awareness letting that be one of your core muscles that you learn how to flex helps circumvent a lot of the downward spirals that feelers can experience an go through.
Rose: And I'm just thinking of one other thing is that there is the side where, okayif something is tapped into what is an insecurity it is also being real with yourself and recognizing maybe that wound or…they are not fully healed, and I do need to check in with someone, rather than “Yes absolutely that is not who I am.”
But it owns and really what is going on for you as well and is that the other balance to that, to be aware, again, self-care, self-awareness, when do I need to check in with anyone there is something that I still need to do.
Josh: Yeah, I always say that “It is not me” is a helpful phrase but it is also not an excuse to not facing things.
Rose: Absolutely.
Josh: So learning how to be self- aware is learning how to know when it is one and not the other. And I think maybe a great indicator of that is when you go it is not me, you are praying, you are connecting and yet there is still this lingering thing that it just feels like is it there.
I might not to be the devil; it actually might be you that needs to face and address a few things, and that is why you are not able to shake it. So I think that is another really good point.
Well, I think that is it for today, just real quick and obviously if you guys have any comments or questions, you can feel free to throw them in.
We can unpack this for the next five Facebook lives if we need to. I know this is a really big one for a lot of people that are feelers learning how to navigate life.Thank you, Rose, for jumping in and sharing.I always love…I mean my insights are fun and great, and everything but I love bringing in people that have experienced and walked through and again learned how to thrive in the areas that we are talking about.
So hopefully this was helpful to you guys. If it is, please feel free to like and share it, help gets the word out, that is my heart and my desire is to be able to help activate people in living in wholeness and not feeling stuck where they are at. And that only happens when is the word gets out.
So again, if this has touched you in any way, please feel free to like and share it, and we will plan on seeing you guys in the next time.